“Fuck all these hoes. I want to win,” Connor Wood echoes. Blurring the line between friend and tough-love coach, comedian Robby Hoffman called up Wood last month to demand that he step it up. While the 31-year-old comedian claims he can’t dance, his current standing on Dancing With the Stars suggests otherwise, and Hoffman wants to see him go all the way. Partnered with ballroom dancer Rylee Arnold , Wood has learned how to waltz, twirl Arnold around his neck, and even turn the traditional lullaby “You Are My Sunshine” into a contemporary horror dance. Over the past eight weeks, Wood has proved himself to be much more than a “personality hire,” and with tonight marking the last performance before the semifinals, all eyes are on Wood and Arnold—especially Hoffman’s.
Perhaps Wood has taken Hoffman’s aggressive encouragement so literally that even Jennifer Lawrence can’t get in his way. “I saw you on 8th avenue drinking a smoothie and you paid me no mind,” the actress commented after a chance encounter that quickly became a viral meme. Or perhaps Wood was just in his head. After all, he’s well aware of the constant nitpicking and online discourse from fans. From his microexpressions to his manner of speaking during live interviews, Wood has been getting it from all angles. To Hoffman, everyone just has a crush on Wood, herself included. In conversation, Hoffman gives Wood the pep talk of a lifetime. They also get to gabbing about scrubs, Vaseline, and Billy Elliot .—ISABELLA SOCCI
WEDNESDAY 2 PM OCTOBER 21, 2026 LOS ANGELES
ROBBY HOFFMAN: You see how we’re waiting on Connor? He begs me to do this and I’m waiting on the call.
CONNOR WOOD: I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.
HOFFMAN: You know how many times the fellas ask me to do something? The usury of women has got to stop.
WOOD: I’m not going to tell you that Zoom had to update. I’m just going to tell you I was late because I’m a part of that.
HOFFMAN: Now I have no clue why you asked me to do this. I barely know what you’re up to. Anyway, they asked me to come up with questions. My first is, how are you doing?
HOFFMAN: That’s the perfect answer. Anything more than good, we don’t have time for.
HOFFMAN: You can’t imagine the exhaustion people have.
WOOD: I know. Sometimes a nurse will come to a show in scrubs.
HOFFMAN: You’re supposed to be throwing those out.
WOOD: The scrubs now are nice because they have FIGS.
WOOD: I don’t know. I want to wear FIGS. They look very comfortable.
HOFFMAN: I think you’d be a great FIGS model. Don’t want to be inappropriate, but we would love a FIGS at-home line with Connor Wood x FIGS. Think about it.
WOOD: I think that that could be our thing. Wait. Before we do that, I want to thank you for doing this.
HOFFMAN: I don’t know why the fellas put me in such awkward positions. They ask me to do things and it’s like, “Am I going to break Connor Wood’s heart? No.” Have I ever asked anything of you, Connor?
WOOD: No, but outside of Dancing with the Stars , my schedule is open. So if you have anything before the end of year, I can’t say no.
HOFFMAN: You’ll notice that I’m very self-sufficient. How are you doing in the competition?
HOFFMAN: The only parts of the show I click into are, “Gabby Windey Dancing with the Stars. ” Somebody else technically won, but who cares? Gabby Windey has the crown at home.
HOFFMAN: She was in the top two. So where are you at?
WOOD: There’s 10 couples left. There were 16.
HOFFMAN: That’s a lot. You’re not even close.
WOOD: Yeah, it is stressful. When I talked last night, I was kind of like, “And if I’m speaking out of line, apologies” but I felt like it was a Robby-ism. I go, “I wish I despised someone in this competition because it would make this easier.”
HOFFMAN: You’re the opposite of me. I hate everyone in the competition but my wife who’s competed, and that goes for all seasons.
HOFFMAN: First of all, I want to say I’m proud of you, Connor. What you’re doing is so nerve-wracking, so give yourself grace when they throw a mic and a camera at you and you don’t have the right words.
WOOD: I appreciate that. Now earlier you said, “How are you?” That’s the first thing that they ask after the dances. And I always say, “Good.” Then there’s a huge pause because they’re expecting me to tell my story and I’ve just told them that I’m good.
HOFFMAN: Because you know how to be a person. Nobody wants to hear anything more than good when asked, “How are you?” We’ve joked about this for years. It’s the “Respectful of people’s time” answer.
HOFFMAN: Who else is competing out of the celebs?
WOOD: Ezra Frech, who’s a Paralympian. He’s my little brother. I adore him.
HOFFMAN: I did a kid’s Emmys thing, and he was there. About his bionic leg I said, “Does it make you run better?” He quickly dispelled that. There’s a lot of athleticism that I’m in the dark about.
WOOD: Then there’s Amber Glenn, who’s also an Olympian. HOFFMAN: I don’t know who that is.
WOOD: And Jenna Dewan, who was in Step Up .
HOFFMAN: Don’t know her, but Step Up is dance. You gotta be careful with these people. They come in low-key with some prior experience. Go on.
WOOD: Harry Shum [Jr.], who was in Glee, Tyler Cameron, and Jackson Olson, who’s a Savannah Banana. Let me see. Who else? Julia Stiles.
HOFFMAN: Whoa. You buried the lead. Julia Stiles?
WOOD: Yeah, who closed the dance last night. She dedicated her performance to Heath Ledger.
HOFFMAN: Oh my God. From 10 Things I Hate About You ?
WOOD: Yeah and they brought out the cast of 10 Things .
HOFFMAN: Connor, I don’t want to alarm you, but I don’t know how this is going to shake out for you. I do think potentially you could beat Ezra given his situation, but that’s really a technicality. But let’s focus on the positive. Who’s your favorite judge?
WOOD: I think Bruno [Tonioli]. I love him. He’s over the top, theatrical.
HOFFMAN: Excited, enthusiastic, into the show. I don’t like “Too cool for school.”
WOOD: Right. With some of them, when they’re really nice to you, it feels suspicious. Like, “We’re taking our pitbull on the dream day. We’re going to bring the pitbull to Burger King, and then we’re going to take the pitbull off leash at the beach, and then we’re going to euthanize the pitbull.” You know what I mean? I know when they’re being way too nice, because I’m realistic. I’m not the best dancer on the show.
WOOD: I will take that. We get a lot of feedback. They kind of cushion it in between a compliment sandwich.
HOFFMAN: What’s the worst thing they’ve told you that genuinely hurt your feelings?
WOOD: Nothing’s hurt my feelings from the judges because I came into this saying, “I can’t dance.” I tell my partner, Rylee, “I will be going home this week every week. I’m going to start packing.” So when we finish the dance, I’m like, “I already won.” But the public perception part is where I’m like, “Oh, Jesus Christ.”
HOFFMAN: What’s the public perception, you think?
WOOD: With TikTok, everyone goes into a deep dive on the show every week down to micro-expressions.
HOFFMAN: Come on. Who doesn’t have a crush on Connor Wood? I have a crush on Connor Wood. I’m man enough to say that. The fact that they’re looking at your face so closely, think about what that means.
WOOD: There’s so much more positive than negative, but I’m a masochist for whatever reason. And my phone knows I’m a masochist too. It only feeds me things that I sit and watch the whole day and it’s always negative.
HOFFMAN: They should do no phones for the competition.
HOFFMAN: Who is your least favorite judge?
WOOD: You’re going to hate this. I don’t have a least favorite. Deadass. I wish that you were on this show with me.
HOFFMAN: You know how sometimes they have an old dude on the show and it’s like, “That’s me.” I’m like, “Oh, that’s my body.”
WOOD: Yeah. You see a lot of angles of yourself that you’ve never seen before. Last week, I did a body roll, and the image was captured like in a freeze-frame. You know how an ant is built in sections? It’s like three balls. I looked super pregnant and my ass was behind me, and then that was immortalized on the Dancing with the Stars Instagram, which has a huge following. It honestly is cathartic for me. I look like a pregnant man in fringe pants.
HOFFMAN: I’d take a pregnant Connor Wood over 99.99% of people.
WOOD: This turned into a little bit of a therapy session.
HOFFMAN: Do you make good money on this show?
HOFFMAN: They’re not taking advantage? You hear these crazy Hollywood stories.
WOOD: I know. No. And I’m a layup to take advantage of too. I’m signing things without reading them. HOFFMAN: We need each other because you’re too trusting. Are they giving you sleep? What’s the sleep schedule?
WOOD: There’s not a ton of sleep, and we practice every single day. I’m going to practice right when we wrap this, and it’s a new dance for next week.
HOFFMAN: How are you going to learn this?
WOOD: Every week I say, “It was great getting to know you guys. This was a good experience, and this one is simply not going to happen.” And then it happens. Something clicks. That being said, I’m losing my short-term memory elsewhere. I don’t remember a minute from driving to rehearsal. Where did I park?
WOOD: Maybe. Also, I want to say congratulations on your new special.
HOFFMAN: By the grace of God, the little comic that could.
WOOD: You’re remarkably talented. I could listen to you for days on end. I wish I could listen to it while I sleep.
HOFFMAN: I’m a good person to have in your corner because I’m putting the Vaseline on your face saying, “Fuck him. Fuck his mother too.” We are here for Connor Wood to take gold and nothing less.
WOOD: I appreciate that. I need you and Gabby to come to a taping this season.
HOFFMAN: I’ll make some time. I’m not in the mood for this, “Kumbaya, we love everyone in a competition.” No, no, no. We are going bold. Connor, you need to get your head in the game.
WOOD: My head is in the game. I am very competitive. In my family, we had to stop playing—you know fishbowl?
HOFFMAN: No, we didn’t play games, Connor. I grew up on welfare.
WOOD: It’s like charades. You just need a bowl and paper.
WOOD: Well, we don’t play anymore because I started too many fights.
HOFFMAN: That’s impressive. The only competition I have is the person I was yesterday. But somebody talked you into one of these because I wasn’t there. Somebody said, “You’re going to have to learn all these dances.” I would’ve pulled you out.
WOOD: You never say no to Dancing with the Stars . This is a dream, genuinely. I like the theatrics. I like the challenge of being an underdog. They’re telling me to say dark horse instead of underdog, but I don’t know what a dark horse is.
HOFFMAN: It’s wrong to say dark horse now.
HOFFMAN: I don’t know. I’m getting just a sense.
WOOD: You must be the healthiest comic of all time. I’ve never heard a comedian say, “My only competition is myself yesterday.” Most comics are pretty hateful, I think.
HOFFMAN: At our core, we’re both sweeties. I have a rough exterior, kind of like I was left in the dirt or something, but when you wipe me off, we could be related. I’m like your weird cousin who just got in from Russia or something.
WOOD: Every time we’ve hung out and when I think about you, I’m like, “Did I make up that Robby likes me, are we friends?”
HOFFMAN: Who are you? This is me loving you. I want your head in the game and your phone on Do Not Disturb. Learn the steps up and down and all around. Listen to the choreographer. Do you have a good mirror there?
HOFFMAN: Because you got to see what’s going on. You need good sneakers and great insoles. What do you have on when you’re learning to dance?
WOOD: They have us in dance shoes and I just got bunions.
HOFFMAN: You need to get Dr. Scholl’s. Go to CVS immediately.
WOOD: I’m going to. I didn’t expect to have bunions. That was the least expected part.
HOFFMAN: There’s no reason for that. First of all, Cole Haan makes a very good half-sneaker, half-Oxford type shoe. I feel like it could be good for dancing because it looks like a dance shoe, but it’s got that Nike Air Max insole.
HOFFMAN: It’s got cushioning inside. I’m worried about your feet and your mindset.
WOOD: In terms of mindset, I’m happy. My bunions are upsetting me, but—
HOFFMAN: I want you to say, “I want to win.”
HOFFMAN: Say, “You know what? Fuck all these hoes. I’m going to win this thing.” Why don’t you say that for me? “Fuck all these hoes…”
WOOD: And that’s on the record. I say, “Fuck all these hoes. I want to win.”
HOFFMAN: And that’s it. I’m going to be screaming in the corner for you. I got to make a sign. I’ll get my Sharpie out. I don’t like that you’re so kumbaya halfway through. Now you’ve got Julia Stiles. Ezra. He’s a cutie too.
HOFFMAN: We have some serious competition and don’t forget you’re in a competition. This is to get out your testosterone. You have to step it up.
WOOD: You’re so right. With you in the ballroom, that’s the pressure. When you get to the ballroom, you and Gabby, you’re going to see it.
HOFFMAN: Do not invite me unless you’re top three or four. Sorry.
HOFFMAN: You haven’t earned me sitting there with a sign.
WOOD: You got it. It’s going to shock you. The dance floor changes the mindset of the person. When I go back and watch the dance, I have fully removed myself. I don’t even know who that is out there.
HOFFMAN: Have you seen the movie Billy Elliot ?
HOFFMAN: It’s my favorite. I’ve seen it on Broadway a million times and on the West End in London. “Like electricity, electricity sparks inside of me and I’m free, I’m free!” You have to take that energy, go all the way, win. You already have everything you need in you to win.
WOOD: Thank you, Robby. Seriously. I need that. This is refreshing. Underdog to the top. Can’t mess up. Put the work in. Dr. Scholl’s, Cole Haan. And I’m getting you some scrubs.
HOFFMAN: FIGS, if you’re out there, we’re in. Connor, have a great practice. I’m proud of you.
WOOD: Robby, thank you so much. You are the best.
HOFFMAN: I’ll see you in the stands. Top three.
Source: Fashion
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